Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Discount Noir

I've always heard it said that it's hard to sell anthologies. But they're cropping up everywhere! Yesterday I mentioned Chris Funkmeister Holm's 8 POUNDS collection, and the contest at his blog to win the Beat To A Pulp - Round 1 Anthology.

Today, I want to tell you about Patricia Abbott and Steve Weddle's new antho, DISCOUNT NOIR.

Uh...but I'm not gonna do that. I'm just gonna copy and paste Amazon.com's copy here.




If you thought standing in line at your local megastore was murder, then you haven't been to Megamart. These flash fiction tales of superstore madness and mayhem will make you think twice the next time you hear "clean up on aisle 13."
This anthology contains works by: Patricia Abbott, Sophie Littlefield, Kieran Shea, Chad Eagleton, Ed Gorman, Cormac Brown, Fleur Bradley, Alan Griffiths, Laura Benedict, Garnett Elliot, Eric Beetner, Jack Bates, Bill Crider, Loren Eaton, John DuMond, John McFetridge, Toni McGeeCausey, Jeff Vande Zande, James Reasoner, Kyle Minor, Randy Rohn, Todd Mason, Byron Quertermous, Sandra Scoppettone, Stephen D. Rogers, Steve Weddle, Evan Lewis, Daniel B. O'Shea, Sandra Seamans, Albert Tucher, Donna Moore, John Weagly, Keith Rawson, Gerald So, Dave Zeltserman, Dorte Hummelshoj Jakobsen, Jay Stringer, Anne Frasier, Kathleen A. Ryan, Eric Peterson, Chris Grabenstein and J.T. Ellison.


Looks pretty good, the list of contributors? Damn good, I'm thinking. And beaucoups of them. Which is why I'm going to suggest you highlight the ones that interest you - Steve Weddle is very pretty - right click on the name and select SEARCH GOOGLE FOR "STEVE WEDDLE", or whomever, because I'll be damned if I'm gonna try to search out all of the various URLs associated with each name and link them up. Ain't got the time nor inclination.

Ugh. I'm a little crotchety this morning.

Anyway, get that bad mofo. Read it. Review. Report.

DISCLAIMER: I did NOT design the cover. Just FYI. Don't associate me with that one. Thank you.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Chris F. Holm - 6 SENTENCE STORY CONTEST

You know the one. The story in six words? Hemingway gave us this one:

For sale: baby shoes, never worn.

Here's another good one:

Computer, did we bring batteries? Computer?


- Eileen Gunn

Or this one:

Machine. Unexpectedly, I’d invented a time

- Alan Moore

Or this one:

Man with diploid penis marries twins.

Okay, so I came up with that last one.

Now it's your chance.

Head on over to Chris F. Holm's blog and post your six word NOIR entry and get a chance to win the Beat to a Pulp: Round 1 Anthology edited by the illustrious David Cranmer and Elaine Ash and featuring a buncha great writers including Frank Bill, Chris F. his-ownself, Sophie Littlefield, Charles Ardai (who runs some publishing company, I think), the amazing and wonderful Patti Abbott, the lovely and talented Hilary Davidson, and many more. And if you don't win, make sure you buy one, dagnabbit. (See how I'm cleaning up my language you SOBs?)

While you're over there, go ahead and buy Chris' awesome short collection, 8 POUNDS. Cracking good read and at $.99? It's a damned bargain for dat asterisk.

On a side note, I freakin' LOVE the cover to BEAT TO A PULP: Round 1. It's awesomely pulpy. I want to marry it. Okay, maybe not marry. Just dinner and a date and maybe some heavy petting in the park, afterwards.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Needle Magazine's Fall 2010 Cover

Is it all that you were expecting? You didn't think there'd be dragon pr0n, did you?

Um...Okay

What does that picture mean? I don't know! But I like it!

That last post was a gag. I'm just dying on the vine here for content. My cup runneth over and I don't have the time for embloggery. Got the freelance work, the WIP novel that my agent has been pushing heavily to publishers (and I'm not even through with it), and the new job that's great but very challenging.

On the bright side, I haven't touched Adobe Flash in a month - maybe that's not a good thing - and I have no deadlines I don't set myself. I can't believe I stayed at my last job as long as I did. Wow, that was stupid. It's like a terrible weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I've got a new lease on life.

However, that new lease is expensive. Too much shit to do.

When I have the chance for more embloggery, you'll be the first to know (the last time I made that announcement, I blogged more than ever. Go figure).

Guest Blog! Author T. Jefferson

When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

I OWE U

Steve Weddle - LOST & FOUND (1 read and feedback)
Jay Stringer - OLD GOLD (1 read and general thoughts)
Kate Horsley - THE ANATOMY SHOW (1 read and feedback when complete)
Erik Smetana - BRIGHTER THAN SUNSHINE (1 read and feedback when complete)
John Rector - ALMOST GONE (1 reread when complete) he probably doesn't want or need this, thank god

Who and what am I missing here? Dag, I'm mortgaged to the hilt in the reading department.

Oh, yeah, gotta finish THE INCORRUPTIBLES.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

NEEDLE SALE!


Hey, just thought I'd remind you all that NEEDLE magazine is on sale, right now. You can get issue #1 for $5.95 - that's one hundred and sixty-five pages of crimey goodness for a pittance!

And while you're at it, if you're gonna sink 3 bucks into shipping, you might as well pick up issue #2 for only $7.

No where else will you find better crime fic in such a pleasing layout.

So what's it gonna take to get you into one of these issues?

Click the damned banner. Or make clickwise here.

Monday, October 11, 2010

More About My Favorite Subject, Me

Mark Devery, AKA The Doctor (not the Tardis flying doctor, but the one with the scalpel and a nasty disposition) has some nice things to say about my (fucking) unpublished (goddamned) books. (Goddamnit.)

(Sorry, when I get impatient, I curse.) (And use too many parentheticals.)

Check it out here. He actually mentions me in the same blog post as T.E.D. Klein, which is about the highest honor I think a horror writer (which I'm not, those tentacles are for pleasuring your holes) can receive. Other than a blurb by the chosen one himself, Stephen King (or, failing that, his son, Joe Hill).

Check it out here!

King Biscuit

The Hornor-Gladin House, Helena, Arkansas

Helena, Arkansas. City of decay, city of ruin. Birthplace of Sonny Boy Williamson and Richard Wright. Levon Helm and Conway Twitty. The resting place of seven confederate generals.




Its industry is agriculture, and the spillage from the casinos from across the Mississippi River. And that's about it. A city poor, muddy, and desperate. But for one weekend a year, its industry becomes the blues.



This year, it's called the Arkansas Blues and Heritage Festival, formerly the King Biscuit Blues Festival. Used to be free. The most popular free blues festival in the US. But shit gets expensive. You have to pay to see the main stage act, now. And next year, it will return to being named the King Biscuit Blues Festival (due to some legal chicanery).

My family has long history in Helena. The Hornors (and our alternate spelling, Horners) have been in the city since before the Civil War, and were part of the caste system that helped spawn the blues. The mean, whip-bearing, overlord side of the blues equation. I'm not proud of it; it is what it is. I don't believe in original sin or the white man's burden. I can't answer for the evils that my ancestors committed. I'm sure, judging by my occasionally heinous behavior, it was pretty bad. But I have enough trouble just answering for myself and can't add a bunch of dead assholes to the mix.


Anyway, my band, The Overtones, played the King Biscuit this last weekend. We had the 5pm slot on Saturday on the Emerging Artist stage. We tore that mother up. I'll indulge in a little bit of self-congratulations here, as a group, the band was ON. And on a personal note - I fucking ripped my tunes. Face melty solos. Voice sounded good. We started playing, there was 20 people in front of the stage. When we stopped, there were hundreds. Normally I don't indulge in egoistic grandstanding, but this once...I was AWESOME!

Supposedly, The Overtones "won" the emerging artist competition.


However, they haven't presented us with a plaque or anything. So, all the business about us "winning" is up in the air until I get some official communique. Honestly, we didn't know it was a competition until after our set, when folks started talking about us winning. Hard to believe such a diverse group of professionals can pull shit together for a gig and win a competition. And even more honestly, I'd have rather sold my novel than win this event.

They're telling us we get to play on the main stage next year, which will be cool, if it is true. I'm having a hard time believing it will happen. But if it does, I'm gonna figure out some way to capitalize on it, publishing-wise. If that's even possible. Give away copies of Southern Gods? Sell them along with a CD? Wear a tshirt of the lucky publishing house that has my novel?

Thursday, October 7, 2010

8 Pounds



File this one under cover design.

Chris F. (Funkenstein) Holm is getting jiggy with the Kindle thingy. He's got 8 cracking stories and he's fixing to make 'em available to download for a reasonable price. Great value!

Why am I writing with so many exclamation points!?!

I don't know!

Learn more about it HERE!

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

More Halloween Arts and Crafts

Mr. Boney dances. My short ones and I got aholt of some modeling clay. Mayhem ensued.

'Nuff said.

Halloween Doodle, John Travolta

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Halloween Doodle, #3


Yeah, I know. I should stop. But I'm enjoying myself.

Halloween Doodle, The Second

Monday, October 4, 2010

Halloween Doodle, The First


I've got a Moleskine. I scribble things down. I doodle things. Dead things, mostly. I'm not very good but I enjoy it. Will post a few leading up to Halloween.

Terminal Damage - Cover 1


This weekend I did two book covers. This is the first.

Steve Weddle, Jay Stringer and their gang of ne'er do-wells, aberrants, and miscreants (otherwise known as the Do Some Damage crew) have written a book. A BOOK! Imagine that. A buncha writers got together and wrote a book.

This one? Murder and mayhem committed at an airport.

Don't think it's for sale yet but I'll be sure to let you know when it is.

And that's the cover. I created it. As far as design concepts, I was stumped at ways to make an airport menacing, or interesting visually. I settled for the sort of monstrous anonymity aspect of mass transit. And then used a little airport iconography and airport signage to get what I needed.

Looking forward to reading it.

Friday, October 1, 2010

NYC Recap: Techmologny!


GEEKERATI

I've returned from NYC, exhausted and sporting a swollen liver. But I had an amazing week and wasted not a moment of time while I was there, except maybe those moments I was wasted.

The purpose of my visit was to attend the Web 2.0 Expo, sponsored by O'Reilly Media. If you're any kind of technophile, you'll know of O'Reilly's tech training empire.

Strange but benevolent forces were in play for me last week. I lived this weird double life. During the day, I was inundated and surrounded by tech talk, tech speak, tech folk. At night, I attended literary events and lived the life, if for only a few days, of an author in New York. It's a toss-up which life I enjoyed more. I'll write more on the literary side - my drunken Batman routine - in a later post.

In the day, I attended panels on customized reporting in Google Analytics, SEO optimization, augmented reality and burgeoning virtual currency. Panels on distributed cloud computing, Twitter's dev team data management software and practices, panels on marketing B2B and how to get media attention for tech companies. Panels on Xbox Support's adoption of Twitter, philosophical talks about the role of technology in our lives and what the purpose of it is.

Tim O'Reilly's keynote inspired me. It follows in its entirety.



I've come from the conference excited and a little overwhelmed with the possibilities of our future. I've talked smack on Steve Jobs – he IS a tremendous asshole – but with the iPhone, he's opened up new vistas of human behavior. More specifically, by including GPS, a camera, a compass in the iPhone, he's made every owner a sensory node on the global net. The new permutations and implementations of services like foursquare and gowalla alone are staggering.

Node is just nerd pronounced with a NY accent, or so sayeth Steve Weddle.

SUPERTHEORY OF SUPEREVERYTHING

The ways technology affects behavior was the focus of the expo. It wasn't just about technology. The common theme running through my days was human behavior – how will this technology affect human behavior? What impact does this have on how people relate to each other? How will it change the way they live their lives? Does it fulfill their needs?

It was strange how many times in the course of the convention I realized technologists think about the same think writers do, but in different ways. I heard many times at panels, “How can we use this to create a compelling narrative for the end user?” or “All the technology in the world doesn't matter if it doesn't make people's lives better or engage them in some way by creating a compelling experience.”

When I'd hear things like that, I sit there, stunned, considering how similar that advice was to writing advice I've heard. Sometimes I felt like I was coming close to a unified theory of creative endeavor. It almost came into focus. Then I lost it.

GEEKY STUFF ON OUR HORIZON

New tech on our horizon? Flexible screens and subdermal vital statistics. Augmented reality is gonna become ubiquitous. QR and RFID is gonna become more integrated with our everyday lives. Real space MMORPGs are gonna start cropping up on every phone platform, using AR as a driving feature. Some concrete and more immediate things coming in the next year? We're gonna see a new launch of MySpace in hopes of taking on Facebook – Rupert Murdoch ain't giving up that easily on a bad investment. Microsoft is coming out with another phone. This one is pretty slick, actually. Its GUI is almost more intuitive than the iPhone's. I should say equally intuitive. But they're so far behind it's gonna be tough to gain any traction in a space already occupied by the iPhone and Android.

Judging by the number of iPads, iPhones, fancy silver Mac computers, Apple's market share has increased dramatically in the last few years. And it's only gonna grow more unless some other company can offer better UI design (doubtful) coupled with richer application design (likely). Google and HP and Dell will soon be releasing slate platforms and I'm considering the Google version.

Your blessing and curse for the day: May you live in interesting times.